Snow is gently falling outside. At the moment I'm sitting on my fireplace hearth, typing this with my back to a blazing hot fire, as I smell burning oak and hear the soft crackles of embers becoming more of themselves.
This having no heat is actually kind of cool. No pun intended here, and nothing facetious about that. I'm speaking from my heart.
And while it’s not exactly ’normal’ to have no heat in the middle of January, I’ve realized, nor am I.
And while it’s not exactly ’normal’ to have no heat in the middle of January, I’ve realized, nor am I.
Nor are you.
We are all unique and do things our own way. We are all subject to curveballs and happenstance. Look at the people around the world whose homes have gone up in flames, flooded, or disappeared right in front of their eyes. Who have lost their loved ones, pets, everything they’ve ever had, worked for known or loved.
How dare I even complain an iota about no heat.
How dare I.
Not having heat yesterday and today, and last week having to manually refill my tank for an entire week, has taught me just how much I actually have. And having a lot is a gift, and doesn’t come easy…nor should it ever.
In the past 6 years, stepping outside my comfort zone is a direction my life has aggressively embraced, chased, been subject to, And has increasingly intrigued me because I’ve learned that sudden gear switching is always where some type of personal growth is hiding.
This silly running out of oil issue, is really just a strange affirmation that I tend to do things differently. That I'm okay with pushing the envelope. Okay with maybe procrastinating with some things. Okay with not being neurotic about everything at all times. (…i said ‘sometimes'...) Okay with maybe doing things at my own pace. Not being conventional, and in this case, not signing a contract/paying for oil deliveries that I didn’t even order. Ridiculous.
I do things my way, true to my own belief system. Somehow secretly craving the fallout of this path and all it’s glory. Whether it’s comfortable and/or uncomfortable and awkward, strictly for the challenge, the learning curve and the storytelling by-product. I genuinely believe this to be the truth for all we do in all of our lives. We choose / create the situations in our lives rather intentionally. Subconsciously at times, perhaps. But we create them nonetheless.
We are all creators.
That said, sometimes there may be a small price to pay for marching to the beat of your own ….handmade drum…. made out of banana peels, and thumbtacks and a supermarket garbage pail ... instead of leather, mango wood and steel rivets. In this instance, it was a rather bearable price. Granted, frustrating for a second, because I'm pampered living in a world of mega supermarkets and uber overall conveniences.
But in reality I just needed to make a fire, keep that going, put on a few more layers of clothes, and bundle my dogs in poofy blankets, and smile as I await my delivery and repair at some point today. That’s the ‘big' adjustment.
I have a brand new refrigerator, and a beautiful working kitchen.
I have access to piles of healthy food, I cook, I have a Jeep with a full tank of gas to take me anywhere I’d like to go, (ps I’ve never run out of gas while I'm driving yet, but I’m sure that’s just a matter of time) and friends who will lovingly accommodate if need be. There’s electricity in every corner of my home for light, paints to create with, unlimited computer access to learn from, books to snuggle with, healthy kids, loving pets, and a phone that’s smarter than even the most educated people in the world, all for the asking.
And as an added bonus, there are no starving, bloodless predators running through my living room, ready to eat my face off.
That’s pretty lucky.
During the night, my faux down comforter, piles of blankets, and 3 boiling snuggling hot dogs kept me super warm under my heap of bedding, and I slept like a baby.
Even though babies don’t sleep.
Today I awoke feeling super lucky for everything I have. I’ve always felt lucky…really fortunate. But there's something about a little struggle that always turns it up a notch.
My nose was a little cold, but that's more because it’s long and was probably touching the window across the room while I slept. But my heart was warm with gratitude and appreciation for being adaptive, resourceful, and lucky enough to have a home and so many other amazing privileges.
So please don’t feel bad for me. At all.
I’m glamping, for fuck’s sake.
This is awesome.
:)
~d
<3
