Take a few seconds to read this email I just received on my Myspace personal training page regarding, what was titled as: 'One On One Training with you' .....
Email from 'Ty' :
Hi Dawn, I'm looking to do a one-sided (I don't fight back at all) boxing session, and possibly wrestling. I want you to beat me up, and the session ends when I can't get up.
If it makes a difference, I'd pay $800 for this, and the session should not even take an hour.
I would supply a waiver, blood test, and anything else you need.
Let me know if you would be interested, you can contact directly at: billthomas-jr@hotmail.com (my real name is Bill).
Sorry to bother you if this is not your thing.
Thanks, and I really hope to hear back from you
Ty (Bill)
---end----
I was a little confounded.
I opened his Myspace page. And there it is. :
About me:
I am part-time fighter, in very good physical shape, and I'm looking to get dominated by females in private wrestling / boxing sessions. I travel for these sessions as well.
Who I'd like to meet:
Any woman who would enjoy beating me up, and get paid for it.
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Alright people. I get women dressing up like schoolgirls and having sex.
I get ropes and gags and threesomes and whipped cream and bad girl stuff. I totally get that.
I get women being a little rough with men, and men being a lot of rough with a woman. Hot. Got it.
I can even get a man dressing up like a rhinoceros or some barnyard animal to have sex. I can sorta kinda maybe wrap my head around that. I said maybe. But it's slightly possible.
But 2 things I can never seem to scratch out a fantasy in, is
A) A man dressing up like a woman during sex, Excuse me but, wtF.
and now the latest..
B) A man wanting a woman to beat the living snot out of him, break his teeth, shatter his septum, and him handing you 8 Benjamins. Fuzzy. I'm real fuzzy on that one.
My response:
I do see 1 glaring problem Ty. We haven't yet dated.
In order for me to want to passionately beat the crap out of a guy, the prerequisite is generally for me to have dated him- and it ending with an assortment of dramatic Italian hand gestures / door slams and a slue of unreturned phone calls on my behalf. (This most commonly being the result of some newly unearthed male asshole tendency.) So to want to smack you upside your head, having a tumultuous history is somewhat key Ty. Uh...Bill. Whoever you are.. Then, hell yeah. Game on.
Otherwise, I just see this 'beat me up session' as an opportunity for me to make the next mornings obits. So save your 800 bucks dude. You'll need it to flee to Mexico after you've beheaded some woman and fed her remains through a sausage grinder.
But hey, thanks for the creepy offer.
~d
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It got me thinking...
hmmmmm...
Maybe his mom used to beat the shit outta him, and then said she was sorry, and that she loved him more than life itself, and thats why he wants to harken back to the abuse.
Or maybe he was deficient in experiencing some type of physical discipline as a child.
Or maybe he has some repressed guilt with some woman, that he feels he was never properly penalized for.
Or maybe it's simply that he's some hellbent perv who wants his ugly undateable head squooshed between some hot womens perineum.
Intutive. I've been called that.
I might be a little off here, but I believe women love men because...they're men (a show of hands please).
They behave like men. They have fight in them. They're stronger than women. Theyre supposed to be. They can physically overpower, and protect a women. Crazy notion.
I mean, the intensity of that natural law is fetish in and of itself. Yes, some women may like being strong (not me of course ), but what really turns them on, is to know that their man is undeniably stronger. Or maybe that's an unfair generalization, and that's just crazy little ole me.
Women secretly love handing that damn stuck jar that they cant open to a man. We bang and twist and grunt to no avail. He opens it without a visible flinch. We silently melt. And continue preparing the gourmet Fluff and banana sandwich with raging hormones.
Men don't run around and scream when a bee lands on them (fine. I do that). They don't cry at commercials of children with distended stomachs and flys hatching in their eyes. They don't sit around and talk about the sale prices of shoes.... and they certainly don't beg you to bludgeon them until they crap their pants and collapse on the floor like your ailing grandmother would after just getting back from hip replacement surgery. Christ, if I wanted to take some guys money while I go off the deep end, I wouldve stayed married.
So if a man truly wants me to overpower him, to the point of humiliation, I have one piece of advice for him: Hand over your ATM card and set me free during a Half Price Sale Day at Maurice Villency Furniture. I'll definitely dominate your ass in that arena. Otherwise, carry me upstairs, get the barbeque started, put the football game on, change my tires, and quit your wanting to get beaten like a whining girl fetish.
;)~~
